Personality Changes Induced by Mental Stress

At one time I didn’t want to stay still. I woke up early and had so many things to do starting from playing mobile games to doing physical works. Though tired, I felt content. So many things have changed over the last couple of years. I became what I thought was tragic when I saw someone like me then.

There were days when I couldn’t even get up. That was not because I was ill. That was entirely because I just didn’t want to. The changes crept in me and nested itself so deep in my soul, I couldn’t even tell if it was still the same person I was few years ago.

I played soccer, went out with friends, got drunk, did my assignments on time. If you knew me back then and if you look at me now, you would for sure feel like you are meeting a new, dead from inside kind of a stranger. I was once a confidently active person. I failed so many times that it changed me into a dark timid soul.

Mental stress has a very hefty impact on our daily behavior and even heavier consequences on our personality. Mark my words, mental stress can drag us to 2 different outcomes. Either you will succumb to depression or you will come out invincible. It’s entirely dependent on how you decide to wield the stress into a driving force for your life.

It’s not easy to keep an ecstatic mind when we have so many circuses of stressful thoughts running rampant in our head. When we are in exacting dilemma, even the slightest of incidents can turn our smile into an up-side down frown. Before I became depressed, my father would casually tease me saying “Useless person“. Of course the intent was just for fun and I laughed every time he said this. But the same joke when I was depressed, it made me choke even to breathe hearing this. Perhaps it caused me agony for I knew I had actually become what my father joked about me. This drove me further away from my parents and before I knew, I didn’t like anyone being near me. My personality remained this way for a consistent amount of time.

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There were constant feuds within my psychological thoughts. The cacophonous warfare between “It will be okay” and “I can never be okay” created discord between happy and grief section of my mentality. It made it really difficult for me to deal with further stress. In addition to this, I had majority of negative emotions and mood swings. I used to be happy most of the time and sad to the very minimal of duration. Now it’s like one moment I am laughing and the very next moment I was dead silent. I was confronted by so many confusions. I didn’t even understand why I was laughing. If I deserved to laugh at all was the only thing I was questioning myself.

Negative emotionalism is the strongest feeling you fell during and after the mental stress episode. This includes negativity such as fear, jealousy, guilt and envy. I spent most of my time within my bedroom self-callusing from the outside world. That was stupid of me to do but it felt so right and safe then. I didn’t have the nerve to go through the mental trauma again. Hence the fear and anxiety about recurrence of this made me timid, a coward, about trying new things. I can say for sure that I was bold once. Things changed. So did my personality.

I have a happy personality with a heavy soul.

Anonymous

Disgust with ourselves and envy is felt on a daily basis. I know not everyone feels envious of others while you are stress-free. But when you have failed so many times like I did, I can assure this that everyone who have failed feel envious seeing someone achieve something you have failed to achieve. That is certain. After the jealousy episode, we feel disgusted with ourselves for messing up whatever you have failed at. We may have been a person with a peaceful mind but screwing up things so bad changes us gravely.

The attitude I had towards my personal and social life was also hampered to an obvious extent. During our depressive episode, almost everyone isolates themselves from others including our own family. Needless to say, that is not the wisest thing to do. Of course we tend to think, by isolating ourselves from others, we are getting out of their way, out of the way of the people who actually have something to do, a job. But not even for once we stop to think from their perspective. They need us the same way we need them. Isolation forces you to feel suffocated even when you are with your family. I have been there myself.

It’s easy to look back and see it, and it’s easy to give the advice. But the sad fact is, most people don’t look beneath the surface until it’s too late.

Wendelin Van Draanen

I feel terribly sad thinking about how my depression changed my relationship with my special one. I have had many recurrences and it stuck with me for so long, I could literally tell she was becoming depressed as well. There were times when I thought I should let her go, because I knew she would have a better life, where she won’t have to deal with a pathetic, useless person. But she had her mind made up. She told me she wasn’t going to go anywhere away from me and I am eternally thankful for that. I couldn’t leave either. I had promised her the world and when she needs me most, I dare not leave. I loved her as much as she loved me. Mental stress does change your relationships but the right person changes the change for better.

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I have mentioned earlier mental stress has 2 outcomes, negative and invincible outcomes. I have talked about the negative aspects of it. To talk about how mental stress converts you into a better person, it is entirely within us to do that. I believe people’s personality become slightly healthier after an episode of mental stress. Failure and mental stress literally are the greatest teachers. It is certain that unless you have faced hardships along your walk of life, you won’t understand the life like the people who have actually faced hardships.

I was once a full of joy and a glass-half-full type of person. I have now become irritable, easily frustrated and glass-half-empty type of a person. I would say becoming that person was rather essential, for it made me have mature insights about the crucial things in life. I was now able to see what I should be doing or do to better the situation I was in, the situation I put my special person in. I can now say things that are the most important to do are the ones that feels the toughest to do. Having mental stress taught me to be more responsible. The things I did oafishly before, I now think a hundred times before I do anything.

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The value of relationships and friendship is understood when you are going through such stages. You understand how important a friend or family is when you are having mental stresses. Of course every friend or family is important, but to discard off of toxic people from your life is what depression teaches us. People who understand the meaning of relationship they have with you, will never ignore or shut you out when you are down. I thank my special person for keeping me in her heart even during the darkest of times I had.

Most importantly, for someone who have had a very bad mental stress, the value money holds in our lives is realized immensely. When we were young, we take money earned by our parents and they would say,” Do you think money grows on trees?” I guess everyone’s parents say the same and we all laugh at it. But everything is different when you are at the age where you should have started earning by yourselves but you aren’t. We live in a world where everything is governed by money. I am not against it. I should have understood it better a long time ago. It is really difficult to earn money for a person from a humble family background. It is even more excruciating when you don’t earn any money and are dependent on your family to provide you with money. We should understand this, money is really important. The stress I went through taught me to value money. Money is easy to spend when someone else gives it to you but when it’s your turn to earn, world can seem really dark.

Two things define your personality, the way you manage things when you have nothing, and the way you behave when you have everything.

ANONYMOUS

How drastic the personality changes may be, it is of utmost importance to give some self-care. How you care and love yourself is what exhibits how you change your life. When we are depressed or mentally stressed, we may face difficulty sitting still with racing thoughts. We may feel more tired than normal with the same amount of rest. That is okay. Project those feelings to find yourself. My only advice to the readers is, be your self-god. Pray to the God above us all who has been blessing you with this beautiful life you are living right now. He will pave the path you should walk on. There is no doubt about that. However how safe you walk on that paved path is entirely dependent on you. So keep yourself healthy, eat on time. The path may be paved but the how safe you make the journey of life is in the hands of another god. You are that god. I repeat YOU.

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